Below you will find a little about some of our staff. Starting with the best looking one two..... (I was ordered to alter that)
DAVID PALMER                                                                                                                                                                 DIRECTOR OF TRAINING
Based Head Office, Shrewsbury.

          He is a former traffic patrol officer and detective inspector, trained to police advanced grade one standard at a Home Office Car and Motorcycle Training School. He is an advanced examiner for cars, buses, goods vehicles and motorcycles, up to and including diploma level. He is additionally trained in covert and peripheral surveillance and high-speed escort duties.

He has escorted royalty including Her Majesty the Queen and was responsible for training all the driving instructors of a major British police force. He oversees all covert surveillance and personal protection courses including those concerned with anti kidnap and escape and evasion techniques. He is a Driving Standards Agency Certified Motorcycle Instructor, an Approved Driving Instructor, and a Fleet Driving Instructor and a SAFED (Government scheme) instructor.

He has been commended for driving skills by the High Courts of Justice, by Her Majesty’s Coroner, and by his former Chief Constable.

He acts as Driving and Motorcycle consultant to the accredited offices within the Fast-Trak group of training companies, to RoSPA, and to a number of other independent trainers and training organisations, including, at its inception, the IRTA and the MRTG in Ireland. He has made presentations regarding road safety and rider training to National and International companies and at Ministerial level in Europe.

He is also an incredibly talented man, good looking, suave and sophisticated, and, co-incidentally, is the only person with a password allowing him to edit this web site. That's why you wont find anything crap about him written here.

SERENA STUBBS                                                                                                                                                                FINANCE & OPERATIONS DIRECTOR (Everything really then)                                                                                                                                           Based Head Office, Shrewsbury.

This is the other half of the business partnership. Some say (she says) the more important half. Anyway, we are not so arrogant to think we can manage a company without female organisational skills. After all, how many men do you know who can keep their house tidy. Come to think of it, how many men even know how to plug in a vacuum cleaner let alone use one. And how many men do you know who can iron a shirt? Do you take my point? When you want things organised properly, get a woman.

But we are not totally stupid. You look at bosses on the tv. They all have personal assistants and secretaries and the assistants are all women. And when you want something done, you ask the women. Not that Serena is anyone's assistant. Tell her that and you're dead meat.

Since the establishment of the new company we have been trying to dream up a new title for Serena.  "What will I be doing in the newco then?" she asked.

"Everything" we said. And that's about it really. She dictates what new work we are going to undertake, and, more to the point, who is going to do it. In reality, that means she shouts through our adjoining sliding window, "Oi, fatty. Get out and earn me some money, I've got work for you!"

Upset her only if you want to reduce your lifespan by several years. She regularly reminds us of our male shortcomings, which, according to her, are too many to list. We are all lazy, forgetful, untidy, unable to multitask and are unable to walk and talk at the same time.

We are all useless, fat and miserable and our only interests wear skirts, pour pints or have big throbbing things with solderless nipples.

She asked us to tell you that she is quiet and calm and never gets annoyed. There.. I've told you. And if you believe that you will have just written to Father Christmas.

In addition to the power she has which she uses to inflict hurt on us mere mortals, she is also training to become a car and motorcycle instructor.

She also attempted, although was not successful, to find the password for this website, so at least we men can keep a little self respect.

She rides a Kawasaki Z1000 with extraordinary panache and style. We are under strict instructions not to write anything about grass tracking at the Nurburgring but what do we care? After bouncing over the rumble strips and trying to cut four miles off the course by using the lesser known field route, she was disqualified from further competition. Reducing the weight of the bike by unlawfully removing the offside exhausts by rubbing them against the crash barrier was also considered unsporting.

Despite all of that though, she is also the most helpful member of our staff and without doubt the most competent, bar none.

Now, just a tip. If you want anything done at our place, don't bother any of the blokes, we are just fumbling around in a haze of stupidity. So whatever you want, ask for the person in charge, and you will get put through to Serena. She might not know exactly what to do with your query but she will know someone who does.

And that's how we end up doing the work in the end.